OK, no more Mrs. Nice, Utah. Let me be blunt, because I’m absolutely sick about our upcoming ballot measure to legalize the use of medicinal marijuana. I am nauseated, nearly seizing with anxiety and I can’t shake it off.
Do you realize what would happen in our state if we puff, puff, pass this initiative? I’ll tell you: it’ll be practical anarchy — relaxed, healthy, economically-advantaged chaos.
I hate to be all high and mighty, but it’s time to open our bloodshot eyes and get off this hippie canni-bus — this isn’t how we roll.
And I’m so burnt out on these radical ideas of economic prosperity, cancer treatments and job creation. It’s really bringing me down.
Friends, let me remind you that we’re not a country built on the foundations of freedom; we’re a country built on the traditional values of racism and puritanism.
How would we unfairly and exorbitantly incarcerate people of color if we legalize — even only medicinally — that which has allowed us to keep our not-white neighbors behind bars all these years? That’s not our America!
And how would we protect our brothers and sisters in the pharmaceutical industry if we make non-addictive painkillers readily available to those who suffer chronic pain? Have you thought about that, bud?
Because roughly an eighth of Americans say they have a family member addicted to opioids, according to a national poll by the Deseret News. Do you realize how much money that generates for a select few? Where would those billions spent on pain management go? Into our tax coffers? Funding public education?! Ridiculous!
Listen, the grass isn’t greener in Nevada, California or Colorado (or the 26 other states and the District of Columbia that have legalized access to cannabis for medicinal or recreational use), so I don’t want anyone being fooled by any booming economies or reduced opioid and alcohol use. Those states will go up in a blaze soon enough.
And who cares if research is showing that marijuana helps people dealing with such things as anxiety, cancer, seizures, multiple sclerosis, inflammatory bowel disease, arthritis, Parkinson’s disease, HIV/AIDS, eating disorders, muscle spasms, post traumatic stress disorder, Alzheimer’s or hepatitis C? Only more than 10,000 studies have been conducted, so we can’t even be sure any of that’s true anyway.
We have to hash out the facts and show just how wacky this law would be. So, weed through the muck, find the real nuggets of truth and don’t vote in November like a dope.
Marina Gomberg is a communications professional and lives in Salt Lake City with her wife, Elenor Gomberg, and their son, Harvey. You can reach Marina at firstname.lastname@example.org.